"You're Santa Claus 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 52 weeks a year." Acting out may shatter "the magic."
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Being Santa Claus is a year-round calling
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I believe that according to B. Dylan et. al, the only requirements to be a Santa are to have a beard that's long and white, to come around on a special night, to wear boots and a suit of red, to have a long cap on their head, to have a big red cherry nose, to have a laugh like "Ho Ho Ho", and to come our way in a sleigh pulled by eight reindeer.
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I thought the prototypical Santa image was all due to a Coca-Cola ad campaign from the 1930's?
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I am amazed and delighted that this study happened. That most of them take it so seriously is such a merry tidbit to know.
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I'd be curious what the breakdown is between 'prototypical' and LGBTQ santas.
At least in the depictions of santa they provided when I was growing up, and the ones I still see around, if you catch santa at home rather than on the job there's probably going to be a Mrs. Claus baking cookies in the background or the like; but she's very much an optional figure; if Hallmark needs more than just santa for the front of a card, or a couple wishes to participate in santa-themed events and santa needs a distaff counterpart. If you omit her even the fairly shrill lunatics on the cutting edge of detecting 'PC' and 'woke' don't normally assume that you are engaying santa; she's just sort of a marginal figure. Doesn't go on delivery ops in canonical depictions; doesn't do residential covert entry, etc.
That sounds like the sort of depiction that would slide quite naturally onto particularly holiday-enthused variants of the 'fun uncle' figure(who isn't necessarily implied to be gay; childless while in visibly heterosexual relationships qualifies; but who certainly can be, and not infrequently is, either a 'bachelor' in a slightly knowing tone, or gay and out); I imagine that some people do specifically not-straight santas more or less because default santa's implied straightness is mostly just down to that being seen as normal, not to anything especially orientation-identifying that santa does; but the fact that santa activities are relatively orientation neutral seems like it would leave a certain amount of flexibility if you were looking to soft-focus that aspect.
At least in the depictions of santa they provided when I was growing up, and the ones I still see around, if you catch santa at home rather than on the job there's probably going to be a Mrs. Claus baking cookies in the background or the like; but she's very much an optional figure; if Hallmark needs more than just santa for the front of a card, or a couple wishes to participate in santa-themed events and santa needs a distaff counterpart. If you omit her even the fairly shrill lunatics on the cutting edge of detecting 'PC' and 'woke' don't normally assume that you are engaying santa; she's just sort of a marginal figure. Doesn't go on delivery ops in canonical depictions; doesn't do residential covert entry, etc.
That sounds like the sort of depiction that would slide quite naturally onto particularly holiday-enthused variants of the 'fun uncle' figure(who isn't necessarily implied to be gay; childless while in visibly heterosexual relationships qualifies; but who certainly can be, and not infrequently is, either a 'bachelor' in a slightly knowing tone, or gay and out); I imagine that some people do specifically not-straight santas more or less because default santa's implied straightness is mostly just down to that being seen as normal, not to anything especially orientation-identifying that santa does; but the fact that santa activities are relatively orientation neutral seems like it would leave a certain amount of flexibility if you were looking to soft-focus that aspect.
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All the characteristics of Santa in those Coca-Cola ads existed before the ads, but there was a bit more variety in depictions, and the Coca-Cola ads created a "standard" portrayal everyone else now uses/expects.
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Christmas and law school are where you learn about the importance of mens rea in criminal law.
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C. Clement Moore was le père de Père Noël, in 1823. Well, probably. His claim of authorship is the most supportable.
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I applaud my ethical co-conspirators in assisting the gaslighting of my offspring into a mindset capable of embracing Francis Church's response to the young Virginia.
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I never said what was in the cookies or that it would cause a fata-oh wait, you meant something else.
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I did; but I think your method sounds like it would probably work as well; unless you are in a state with exceptionally hardcore castle doctrine interpretation on the books.
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Home invasion, and not burglary. But is it even home invasion if you know he's coming, and that you put of milk and cookies as a welcome dish?
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Argh, unmarked spoiler for the hit film Elf which I have been too busy to watch yet.
That could land someone on the naughty list.
I've always wondered why we refer to Santa Claus as Santa, when Santa is a title meaning Saint. What of the other Santas, such as Santa Na, the famous guitarist/songwriter?
Further listening:
https://www.thisamericanlife.org/371/scenes-from-a-mall/
https://www.thisamericanlife.org/148/the-angels-wanna-wear-my-red-suit
That could land someone on the naughty list.
Why would Santa have xmas trees in his house? For practice? Wouldn't that just remind him of work? Also, why would Santa have figurines of himself? Can you imagine other fictional characters such as Jesus having little Jesuses everywhere?Jennifer Ouellette said:
Of course you do. Santa.One Subject said:
I've always wondered why we refer to Santa Claus as Santa, when Santa is a title meaning Saint. What of the other Santas, such as Santa Na, the famous guitarist/songwriter?
Further listening:
https://www.thisamericanlife.org/371/scenes-from-a-mall/
https://www.thisamericanlife.org/148/the-angels-wanna-wear-my-red-suit
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Oh this is lovely.
Reminds me of something I read about how your average man progresses through life:
1. You believe in Santa
2. You don't believe in Santa
3. You are Santa
Reminds me of something I read about how your average man progresses through life:
1. You believe in Santa
2. You don't believe in Santa
3. You are Santa
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I can't actually remember if that racist Megyn Kelly quote was about Jesus or Santa... still though.
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You're a day late for the airing of grievances.
Though Ars has once again failed your arbitrary ideological purity test, I am 100% sure they are truly broken up about having let you down.
There will no doubt be an all-hands meeting where Jen is sacked on Christmas Eve, followed by a complete editorial restructuring based on your feelings about this matter.
Anyway... Love your stories, Jen.
Nolite te Bastardes Carborundorum.
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I did not read the comment, so feel free to blast me, but... comments like this do not belong on Ars Technica. With all due respect to the author, few, if any, of her comments have anything to do with "technical savvy and wide-ranging interest in the technological arts and sciences" (Ars' mission statement). I subscribed to a tech and science news site, not a puritanical peer-reviewed journal. Again, nothing against the author!
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Late 1800's - we can thank Thomas Nast for adapting the St. Nicholas character (vague, bearded gift-giver with reindeer) into the "modern" Santa we know today.
The 'OG' (mildly scary) Saint Nick:
The Nast version (AKA modern Coca-Cola Santa):
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I don't think there's an English translation, but this Japanese book was fantastic. There are Santas for the entire world who work together through the year to relax, make sure they make weight, train the reindeer, and prepare to be Santa on Christmas Day.
あのね、サンタの国ではね…
https://porta-y.jp/en/life_with_kids/picture-book/christmas#anchor1
あのね、サンタの国ではね…
https://porta-y.jp/en/life_with_kids/picture-book/christmas#anchor1
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It would be interesting to get a more international perspective, and understand how non-white audiences perceive Santa Claus, which characteristics are more prevalent, which have been adapted, etc. Someone get @Da Xiang in here for an interview!
Slightly ninja'd by @MST2.021K .
Slightly ninja'd by @MST2.021K .
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The beaches over in St Harmonica are pretty nice. I can walk to the one here, though, so rarely make that drive.
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If you like mystery fiction, you might enjoy this. Includes a story by Mick Herron (Slow Horses). https://sohopress.com/books/the-usual-santas/
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Others have commented with various pieces of information related to this, but I’ll offer a decent article summarizing the extant information:
Snopes - Santa Claus/CocaCola
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Found Ebenezer.
Ms. Ouellette covers nerd culture. The Ars audience is deeply nerdy. So sorry you don’t like that.
My bias is I fucking love her articles and she is part of why I am a paid subscriber. Others include Berger, Gitlin, Harding, Hutchinson, Mole, and Orland. We are lucky to have them.
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The answer is “kind of”.
The typical Santa imagery was mostly standardised by the time Coca Cola’s ad campaign came about. Coca Cola latched on to the already-popular image, and helped make it ubiquitous.
Prior to the ad campaign, there was still some variation in Santa’s portrayal and occasional differences in the colour of his clothing. After the ad campaign, the most common red and white image became definitive. But that was a trend that was already in place. Coca Cola just accelerated the existing trend and settled the matter.
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That's one take. Mental illness is a helluva thing is another, rather Grinchy, take.
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FranzJoseph
Wise, Aged Ars Veteran
Well, here in some parts of Europe Santa Claus – while still heavily promoted in its commercialised versions by Cola and Tescos – is pretty much a deeply hated figure by many of the older generations. Because many of the forcefully Sovietised countries had their own Baby Jesus bringing in the presents, traditionally (or other, more pagan variants). No chimneys, no Ho Ho Ho, no red coat and white beard. Then the Soviets rolled in with tanks and Cheka agents just a few years after we had been liberated from Nazism only to outright annex or at the very least forcefully bind us to them, and in the Politburo's infinite wisdom, Baby Jesus just stank too much of the old Catholic traditions, ones not really "suitable" for the New Soviet Man (never a woman, alas).
Their solution? Welcome the Grandpa Frost, AKA Ded Moroz – the one officially appropriated and sanctioned cultural figure that was supposed to replace all the local ones from mainly Catholic Baby Jesus and Saint Nicholas to the Finnish Yule Goat and other local Winter personifications from the local pagan traditions later transmogrified through the Christian ages to a bit something different from the originals.
And you probably wouldn't really want to actually meet any of the original pagan ones coming down your chimney, as instead of giving presents, a beastly personification of Winter itself wouldn't be so kind or so easily pacified by a few cookies and some brandy – completely opposite, they would likely kidnap your children and also you, if not disemboweling you outright with a poker...
In other words, almost all the pagan originals were initially monsters, as Winter was one as well. Winter wasn't exactly a good time.
Needless to say, the Soviet‑sanctioned "Ded Moroz" (clearly physically styled after the Coca‑Cola one, even though the figure itself was originally East Slavic and Coca‑Cola possibly stole the look first from East Slavic cultures like Russia) wasn't exactly welcomed in most formerly Catholic Warsaw Pact countries, or especially the Soviet‑annexed countries like the Baltics.
So kindly fuck off you both "Santa Clauses", both the Coca‑Colanised Western Santa Claus and the Soviet Ded Moroz, or any other commercialised varieties of either...
Needless to say, the Soviet‑sanctioned "Ded Moroz" (clearly physically styled after the Coca‑Cola one, even though the figure itself was originally East Slavic and Coca‑Cola possibly stole the look first from East Slavic cultures like Russia) wasn't exactly welcomed in most formerly Catholic Warsaw Pact countries, or especially the Soviet‑annexed countries like the Baltics.
We all Slavic and Baltic countries had our own, different Winter figures, but you just stole them from us, and fucking culturally appropriated them either for your commerce or Soviet cultural coercion (though is there any difference to those?), while forcing one of them on us. No fucking thanks.
And that hate of the Soviet Ded Moroz persisted for forty years among the generations, up to the point that plenty of people of the younger generations who can just barely remember the Ded Moroz Soviet movies still equally hate the Santa Claus figure, because it's basically the same fucking cultural colonisation – a forceful misappropriation of all our history, all for the sake of money extraction (either by the capitalist companies now, or the Soviet extraction of our raw resources like uranium back then).
The Gen‑whatever‑later and the later kids? Probably no such issues. But there is still a lot of "it's the Baby Jesus who brings in the presents" even among the smaller kids here, strangely – they might be quite confused watching all the Santa films and still thinking that Baby Jesus exists to bring them their packages, even if most get the notion that Baby Jesus doesn't exist pretty early on
TL;DR: (the following is a satire, obviously)
Fuck Santa in his fat red arse!!!
If I ever find him crawling down my chimney, he might be for a very nasty surprise. First I might just pour some accelerant on the wood. Plenty of 99.8% lab grade isopropyl here that should work very nicely! Let the fucker see his beard burn...
If that still doesn't work, there is always the goode olde iron poker nearby, as Fae are quite allergic to iron.
The last resort is always the thermite charge rigged up in the socks around the mantel piece – a pyrotechnic sparkler rigged with an electric squib sets of the thermite, and given the Faes' allergy to iron, contact with some 2,500°C hot glowing iron powder should stop even a Fae demi‑god.
Always cover your bases, people! It might be just your local harmless Baby Jesus is coming to deposit some really nice presents, or it could be an ages‑old goat deity or an amalgamation of the two coming to not deposit some gifts for your kids, but instead disposit the said kids without even leaving a fucking LEGO set behind...
;-)
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